THE COAGULATOR INSPIRED BY THE SIMPSONS

For the Mayonnaise

In a tall, narrow container that is the same width as an immersion blender, add the egg, Dijon mustard, lemon, garlic and salt.

Insert the immersion blender and blend for 30 seconds, or until the eggs and mustard are fully combined.

Slowly pour the oil down the sides of the container so it rests just on top of the egg yolk mixture, then blend constantly from the bottom of the mixture to the top of the mixture until it forms a thick mayonnaise.

Taste and adjust with more salt, if needed. Transfer to a resealable container and refrigerate until ready to use.

For the Fancy Tuna Salad

Wrap the tuna in a clean tea towel or several layered paper towels. Squeeze as much excess water as possible out of the tuna.

Transfer the tuna to a mixing bowl and add the mayonnaise, Dijon mustard, celery, chives, salt and pepper.

Mix together until fully incorporated, then taste and season with additional salt and pepper, if needed.

For the Tuna Melt

On one slice of sourdough, spread a layer of the Fancy Tuna Salad, then top with the shaved Red Leicester cheese.

Arrange the top slice on the tuna, so that no tuna salad drapes over the edges. Wrap in plastic wrap and let rest in the fridge for at least 30 minutes.

For the Pakora Batter

In a large mixing bowl, whisk all the ingredients together until homogenous.

For the Frying

In a Dutch Oven over medium heat, add 2 inches of vegetable oil and preheat to 350°F.

Remove the tuna melt from the fridge and unwrap. Then, drench the entire tuna melt in the Pakora Batter, then lower the battered sandwich into the preheated vegetable oil.

Agitate using a kitchen spider and fry for 5 to 7 minutes, maintaining a temperature between 325°F to 350°F. Fry slowly and low ensuring the sandwich is heated all the way through.

Remove from the oil once golden brown and drain on a wire cooling rack set over a rimmed baking sheet.

Let cool for 5 minutes, slice, and enjoy.

For the Mayonnaise Vegetable Oil Mixture

Add the mayonnaise and vegetable oil to a large, deep pot. Be sure the pot is completely off before beginning. The slower the mayonnaise can heat up, the less likely it will burn.

Completely liquefy the mayonnaise on low heat. Allow the mixture to slightly cool.

Line a fine mesh sieve with cheesecloth set over a large Dutch oven. Carefully pour the mayonnaise mixture through the cheesecloth, discarding any solids.

Return the mayonnaise mixture back to the large, deep pot. Over medium heat, preheat the oil to 375°F when ready to fry.

For the Tuna Melt

Spread mayonnaise on the bread, then layer on the American cheese slices before scooping on a layer of Premade Deli Tuna Salad.

Arrange the top slice on the tuna, so that no tuna salad drapes over the edges. Wrap in plastic wrap and let rest in the fridge for at least 30 minutes.

For the Funnel Cake Batter

In a large mixing bowl, whisk together the flour, powdered sugar, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon.

In a medium mixing bowl, whisk together the eggs, milk, and vanilla extract.

Add the wet ingredients to the dry and gently fold the two together until mostly smooth, some lumps are okay.

For the Funnel Cake Frying (optional)

Drizzle the batter in circles into 350°F oil in a large, high-walled pot using a spider, flipping occasionally for even frying.

Remove from the oil once golden brown and drain on a wire cooling rack set over a rimmed baking sheet.

Dust with sifted powdered sugar.

For the Assembly

Remove the tuna melt from the fridge and unwrap. Then, drench the entire tuna melt in the Funnel Cake Batter, then lower the battered sandwich in the fat rendered from the mayonnaise mixture.

Very very carefully, lower the battered tuna melt into the preheated clarified mayonnaise fat.

Agitate using a kitchen spider and fry for 5 to 7 minutes, maintaining a temperature between 325°F to 350°F. Fry slowly and low ensuring the sandwich is heated all the way through.

Remove from the oil once golden brown and drain on a wire cooling rack set over a rimmed baking sheet.

Once cool, dust with sifted powdered sugar.

Not recommended.