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THE BROODWICH INSPIRED BY AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE

cook:

1 h 40 min

Picture for The Broodwich inspired by Aqua Teen Hunger Force

6,638,251 views  This week, to celebrate Halloween, I bend my no-fantasy-food-rule in favor of that most unholy of sandwiches, the Broodwich. It wasn't forged in darkness, it wasn't baked by Beelzebub - but it does have a sinful amount of meat, hand-beaten mayo, lots of sun dried tomatoes, and lettuce. BED OF EVIL AND LETTUCE!

4 servings

US

original

metric

INGREDIENTS

For the Red Sandwich Bread

For the Red Sandwich Bread

bread flour

510 g bread flour

instant yeast

10 g instant yeast

sugar

30 g sugar

whole milk

1 cup whole milk

egg

1 egg

oil

3 tbsp oil

salt

2 tsp salt

big Red coloring

3 squirts big Red coloring

For the Honey Baked Ham

For the Honey Baked Ham

boneless pork shoulder

3 lb boneless pork shoulder

pink curing salt

10 g pink curing salt

kosher salt

50 g kosher salt

brown sugar

1 cup brown sugar

honey

1 tbsp honey

distilled water

1 gallon distilled water

For the Pastrami

For the Pastrami

Brisket

Brisket

pickling spices

2 tbsp pickling spices

pink curing salt

2 tsp pink curing salt

brown sugar

1 cup brown sugar

kosher salt

100 g kosher salt

distilled water

2 gallons distilled water

coriander seeds, crushed

3 tbsp coriander seeds, crushed

freshly ground black pepper

3 tbsp freshly ground black pepper

mustard powder

1 tsp mustard powder

paprika

1 tsp paprika

garlic powder

1 tsp garlic powder

onion powder

1 tsp onion powder

For the Mortadella

pork belly

2 pork belly

lean pork

3 lean pork

star anise

1 tsp star anise

caraway seeds.

1 tsp caraway seeds.

garlic powder

1 tsp garlic powder

mace

1 tsp mace

white pepper

1 tsp white pepper

pink curing salt

1 tsp pink curing salt

ground coriander

1 tsp ground coriander

kosher salt

3 tsp kosher salt

shelled unsalted roasted pistachios

¾ cup shelled unsalted roasted pistachios

black peppercorns.

2 tbsp black peppercorns.

Boiling water

Boiling water

Frozen Red Wine (combined with water to freeze)

Frozen Red Wine (combined with water to freeze)

For the Peppered Turkey

For the Peppered Turkey

Turkey breast

Turkey breast

Kosher salt

Kosher salt

Freshly ground black pepper

Freshly ground black pepper

For the Roast Beef

For the Roast Beef

Large eye round roast

Large eye round roast

Kosher salt

Kosher salt

Freshly ground black pepper

Freshly ground black pepper

For the Homemade Mayo

For the Homemade Mayo

eggs

2 whole eggs

dijon mustard

1 tsp dijon mustard

lemon juice

2 tbsp lemon juice

garlic clove, crushed

1 garlic clove, crushed

kosher salt

pinch kosher salt

neutral flavored oil (like vegetable oil)

2 cups neutral flavored oil (like vegetable oil)

For the Assembly

Dijon Mustard

Dijon Mustard

Provolone

slices Provolone

Cheddar Cheese

slices Cheddar Cheese

Lettuce

Lettuce

Sun  dried Tomatoes

Sun dried Tomatoes

DIRECTIONS

1.

For the Honey Baked Ham

1.

Regarding cure for the pork, combine pink curing salt, kosher salt, brown sugar, honey, and distilled water. Whisk together.

boneless pork shoulder

3 lb boneless pork shoulder

pink curing salt

10 g pink curing salt

kosher salt

50 g kosher salt

brown sugar

1 cup brown sugar

honey

1 tbsp honey

distilled water

1 gallon distilled water

2.

Place the pork shoulder into the liquid and let cure in the solution for 3-5 days. Move around once per day to agitate the pork.

3.

When ready to cook, pat the pork dry on a wire rack set in aluminum lined rimmed baking sheet and insert temperature probe, and roast 300°F for anywhere between 2-3 hours. Slice and enjoy.

4.

For the Pastrami

1.

Start by dividing a large chunk of brisket into its lean and fatty portions.

Brisket

Brisket

2.

To cure, add and combine pickling spices, pink curing salt, brown sugar, kosher salt, and distilled water. Whisk until dissolved.

pickling spices

2 tbsp pickling spices

pink curing salt

2 tsp pink curing salt

brown sugar

1 cup brown sugar

kosher salt

100 g kosher salt

distilled water

2 gallons distilled water

3.

Place the brisket pieces into the cure and fridge for 3-5 days. Remove and agitate once every 24 hours.

4.

When finished curing, place the brisket in cool water for 1 hour before cooking.

5.

Transfer the brisket into a large pot, covered with water, and bring to a simmer for 2-3 hours.

6.

To create spice mix, combine and whisk together crushed coriander seeds, freshly ground black pepper, mustard powder, paprika, garlic powder, and onion powder. Distribute evenly on the corned beef into every inch.

coriander seeds, crushed

3 tbsp coriander seeds, crushed

freshly ground black pepper

3 tbsp freshly ground black pepper

mustard powder

1 tsp mustard powder

paprika

1 tsp paprika

garlic powder

1 tsp garlic powder

onion powder

1 tsp onion powder

7.

Place in a smoker for 2 hours at 225°F. Slice and enjoy.

8.

For the Mortadella

1.

Start by removing the skin from pork belly and cutting into ½” chunks. Set into two evenly sized groups of most fatty and least fatty.

pork belly

2 pork belly

2.

Least fatty pieces are placed out evenly on a parchment-lined baking sheet and freeze for 15-20 minutes.

3.

The fatty pieces are reserved in a bowl and placed in the fridge until ready to use.

4.

With an additional 3lbs of lean pork (whole loin roast) cut into 1” pieces. Spread out evenly on a parchment-lined baking sheet and freeze for 20 minutes.

lean pork

3 lean pork

5.

Using a meat grinder, grind the frozen pork loin and pork belly on the largest setting into a large bowl.

6.

To create the spice mix, in a spice grinder mix together star anise and caraway seeds. Run through a fine-mesh sieve into a small bowl and combine with garlic powder, mace, white pepper, pink curing salt, ground coriander, and kosher salt. Whisk to combine.

star anise

1 tsp star anise

caraway seeds.

1 tsp caraway seeds.

garlic powder

1 tsp garlic powder

mace

1 tsp mace

white pepper

1 tsp white pepper

pink curing salt

1 tsp pink curing salt

ground coriander

1 tsp ground coriander

kosher salt

3 tsp kosher salt

7.

Add the spices to the coarsely ground pork and toss together by hand until evenly distributed.

8.

Run the now spiced pork back through the grinder on the finest setting into a large bowl.

9.

Spread the ground pork evenly over parchment-lined baking sheets and freeze for 20 minutes.

10.

Regarding the fatty pork pieces, place into a large bowl along with shelled unsalted roasted pistachios, and black peppercorns. Cover the whole with boiling water and let sit for 20 minutes. Strain and set aside.

shelled unsalted roasted pistachios

¾ cup shelled unsalted roasted pistachios

black peppercorns.

2 tbsp black peppercorns.

Boiling water

Boiling water

11.

Using a chilled food processor grade, add in the semi-frozen ground pork and emulsify with some frozen red wine and ice water (2 tablespoons each per pound of pork). Process in batches for about 45 seconds until emulsified.

Frozen Red Wine (combined with water to freeze)

Frozen Red Wine (combined with water to freeze)

12.

Place into a large mixing bowl, massage together before adding in the cooled fat, nut, and peppercorn mixture and mixing until evenly distributed.

13.

On a few layers of plastic wrap, dump the pork out and pat it out into a large log pressing in any big chunks. Wrap tight in plastic wrap, twisting rotating up each end tightly until the plastic wrap is taut. Place in fridge for 24 hours.

14.

After 24 hours, vacuum seal and sous vide at 158°F for 5-6 hours. Afterward, transfer into an ice bath and let it cool completely in the fridge. Slice and enjoy.

15.

For the Peppered Turkey

1.

On a wire rack set on an aluminum lined baking sheet, coat a turkey breast generously with kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper.

Turkey breast

Turkey breast

Kosher salt

Kosher salt

Freshly ground black pepper

Freshly ground black pepper

2.

Place in the fridge overnight before roasting 300°F for 45 minutes or reach an internal temperature of 145°F. It will eventually rise to 150°F. Slice and enjoy.

3.

For the Roast Beef

1.

On a wire rack set on an aluminum lined baking sheet, coat a large eye round roast with a bunch of kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper.

Large eye round roast

Large eye round roast

Kosher salt

Kosher salt

Freshly ground black pepper

Freshly ground black pepper

2.

Place in the fridge overnight before roasting 300°F until an internal temperature of 120°F.

3.

Wrap in plastic wrap, place in the refrigerator until ready to slice.

4.

For the Red Sandwich Bread

1.

Combine all ingredients except for red food coloring in a mixing bowl with a dough hook attachment.

bread flour

510 g bread flour

instant yeast

10 g instant yeast

sugar

30 g sugar

whole milk

1 cup whole milk

egg

1 egg

oil

3 tbsp oil

salt

2 tsp salt

2.

While the dough is mixing, add food coloring until dough reaches a medium red color.

big Red coloring

3 squirts big Red coloring

3.

Continue kneading until the dough no longer sticks to the sides and is smooth in texture (not ripping immediately), about 7-10 minutes.

4.

Allow resting, covered, at room temperature for 1 hour.

5.

Cut 1 small portion of dough off while rolling the rest into a 16”x12” rectangle. Begin rolling from the bottom to the top lengthwise. Form and twist into a submarine roll.

6.

Regarding the smaller portion of dough, roll into small logs that resemble horns and a tail.

7.

Allow resting on a parchment-lined baking sheet, covered, at room temperature for 45 minutes.

8.

Score as desired.

9.

Bake at 350°F (no convention) for about 18 minutes, or until the bread's internal temperature reaches 200°F-210°F.

10.

Let cool completely on a wire rack.

11.

For the Mayo

1.

In a container, combine eggs, dijon mustard, lemon juice, crushed garlic clove, and kosher salt.

eggs

2 whole eggs

dijon mustard

1 tsp dijon mustard

lemon juice

2 tbsp lemon juice

garlic clove, crushed

1 garlic clove, crushed

kosher salt

pinch kosher salt

2.

Blend lightly until just combined and then top with a neutral flavored oil (vegetable oil).

neutral flavored oil (like vegetable oil)

2 cups neutral flavored oil (like vegetable oil)

3.

Place the immersion blender head at the bottom of the cup and begin blending from the bottom up.

4.

For the Broodwich Assembly:

1.

Slice the bread in half and generously lather the bottom slice with the homemade mayonnaise along with dijon mustard.

For the Red Sandwich Bread

For the Red Sandwich Bread

For the Homemade Mayo

For the Homemade Mayo

Dijon Mustard

Dijon Mustard

2.

Pile high using the various slices of homemade cold cuts before topping with slices of provolone and cheddar cheese along with lettuce and copious amounts of sundried tomatoes.

For the Honey Baked Ham

For the Honey Baked Ham

For the Pastrami

For the Pastrami

For the Mortadella

For the Peppered Turkey

For the Peppered Turkey

For the Roast Beef

For the Roast Beef

Provolone

slices Provolone

Cheddar Cheese

slices Cheddar Cheese

Lettuce

Lettuce

Sun  dried Tomatoes

Sun dried Tomatoes

3.

Generously lather the top slice of bread with mayonnaise and dijon mustard before decorating with the horns and tail.

Dijon Mustard

Dijon Mustard

For the Homemade Mayo

For the Homemade Mayo

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